Leave me no longer
by Demented Insane Spirit
Summary: For the years after Naraku was defeated, Sesshomaru has visited Rin every year at a village he left her at. Now, he tries to permanently leave her, but she won’t allow it and he’s finding himself struggling, too. One shot.


DIS: I had a dream that Kagome crashed a car and Inuyasha got upset with her. From there, another idea came and _voila_! This story was formed. Enjoy!

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_Title: Leave me no longer_

_Rating: K_

_Genre: Romance/Angst_

_Summary: For the years after Naraku was defeated, Sesshomaru has visited Rin every year at a village he left her at. Now, he tries to permanently leave her, but she won't allow it and he's finding himself struggling, too. One shot._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha_

_Notes/Warnings: Sesshomaru/Rin; one shot; been awhile since I've last written an Inuyasha fic_

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_Leave me no longer_

The years had passed drearily long. Sesshomaru supposed it was because, after so much time tirelessly searching for Naraku or his younger half-brother, he was finally able to settle into a normal lifestyle again. He also knew that the years were made longer by the absence of his ward by his side. Jaken, the ever-faithful imp, was still there, but he seemed as subdued as Sesshomaru was. In the time that he had Rin with him, she had filled their lives with a cheerfulness that they were unaccustomed to.

Once the threat of Naraku had passed, Sesshomaru concluded that it was best for Rin to be as far from him as possible. Ever since she had come upon him, her life had been in constant danger. He supposed that he should have simply left her dead on that pathway, but her touching watch over him had warmed that organ he so often ignored called a heart. He thought that once she was settled in the kindly village that he arranged for her to live in that things would be better. At first, he never intended on seeing her again after that, but found that even he wasn't strong enough to go without her. So, every spring, on no specific day, he went to that village and visited her.

He would have liked to watch her grow up, as those villagers did, but was given the aftertaste of it, instead. Every year, something was different about her and he entertained himself by puzzling out what it was. Last year, he remembered frowning when he realized his tiny ward's body was developing into a woman's. He was bothered by this, because whenever he thought of her, he didn't think of the annoying human females that fluttered around with their curvaceous bodies and sultry looks, but the naïve, kind-hearted little girl that helped him learn to love.

Last year, she had been fifteen. This spring, when he saw her again, she would be sixteen. This was the year when it was acceptable for a female to find a mate. He wondered vaguely, without any real interest, whether she had found a man that she liked well enough. His smooth eyebrows drew down in agitation at the thought of his ward breeding with a human male and he pushed through the forest, glad to have finally reached his destination.

Although he had defied common sense and continued to see her, today Sesshomaru had decided that it was time he left her for good. He could see that she was comfortable with this village of humans and that they treated her well enough. When he first left her there, there had been such betrayal in her young eyes that the look haunted him for the following months. And every time he saw her, there was a sad loneliness in her face that she tried to stifle so he wouldn't see. It irked him that, amongst all these people, she was still lonely.

"Lord Sesshomaru." He glanced indifferently to the male priest that took residence on the outskirts of the village. He inclined his head to him and said, "Rin is out near the river." Sesshomaru took note, as he always did, that she was never at her home when he called on her; she was always outside.

Sesshomaru left the priest, not speaking a word as usual, and glided towards where he knew the river was. Rin had dragged him all over the village and around the land around it enough times that he knew where everything was. He suspected she knew where everything was better than the villagers did. He passed the long village and came to the stretching green that extended down the hill to the riverbank where he could see a lone figure sitting.

She must have sensed him because he was only a few feet away when she turned. A beautiful smile spread her lips upward. "Lord Sesshomaru!" She greeted cheerfully. She came to her feet in a more graceful movement than he was used to and clasped her hands together, her face bright. He would regret tearing all the happiness from her face when he left here today.

He made a quick analysis of her, a year older from when he last saw her. She was still petite, having always been smaller than other human females, but she looked now like a young woman with soft curves and casual, feminine grace. Her face was less round now, with angles, but there was still the child he remembered so well in her eyes. After a moment of this, Sesshomaru was convinced that she wouldn't turn into an idiot of a woman. Perhaps it was because she had spent so much time among youkai.

"Rin," he replied quietly, his voice silky and deep. After a pause, he asked, "Have you no human friends?" She blinked and her smile lessened a bit, but didn't dissipate. She shook her head.

"They're...afraid of me, I think, because..." She trailed off, looking uncomfortable and a bit hurt. She looked away, so as to hide her expression from him, as she always tried to, and said, "There aren't any youkai around this village, Lord Sesshomaru, so they're particularly afraid of them." Rin hung her head, her shoulders dropping with it. "They think I'm a hanyou and I just don't know it."

Anger flared briefly in Sesshomaru as he considered the insult they had delivered on his ward. He doubted they had any idea how shameful it was to be a hanyou, but that did not forgive them for accusing her of being one. He sat on the warm grass, bringing one of his legs up to rest his only remaining arm on. He could see now why Rin always was so lonely. "And you have not told them the truth?"

"I have, but they don't believe me," she replied and turned around, shifting so that one of her hands clasped her opposing arm. "They don't know what a hanyou looks like, so..." He nodded curtly to show he understood. Rin watched him and then smiled lightly, as if simply looking at him had cheered her. "I'm glad to see you, Lord Sesshomaru." Her brow wrinkled in puzzlement. "But how come Master Jaken didn't come with?" No matter how many times the little imp had yelled at her in the past, she still adored him.

"Today will be the last time I see you, Rin," he told her instead of answering her question. Sesshomaru saw through the corner of his eye her body freeze in shock. Slowly, she shook her head, to deny his words. "It is time I leave your life. You are at the age where you can breed. Once you find your mate, you will have your own family. There is no more use for this Sesshomaru to remain."

"_No!_" He turned his head slightly to see a stricken expression on her face. She collapsed beside him and dug her nails in his arm. "I don't _want_ a mate! I never _wanted_ to stay in this village! How come I can't leave with you? I always tell you that I want to leave, but you never listen!"

"Your life has been threatened because of me," he calmly responded, even though inside, his heart was doing agonizing twists to wrench up his throat so that he would show some emotion to her. He couldn't let himself do that, though, or else his resolve would melt completely. Rin had always been his weakness and if his heart got in the way of things, he would bend to her will, something only she managed to do to him.

"But you always protected me," Rin weakly protested, blinking quickly to keep the tears away. "You never let anything hurt me – "

"I failed you once, Rin," he reminded her, "and that had been the second time your life was brought back. Here, you can die normally of old age, and you will be happy."

"I'm not happy _now!_" She cried, beating a fist against his shoulder futilely. "I hate only seeing you once a year! And it's not the same, being able to see you only once."

_This is about me? _He wondered, briefly startled by her words. "Rin, enough. When I leave today, you'll see no more of me." She stared at him, her lips trembling until she planted a fierce, defiant expression on her face.

"I'll leave the village and go looking for you. I'll be alone and probably get killed."

"If you leave this village," Sesshomaru softly warned, "then I will kill you myself." Rin's face turned pale and she stumbled away from him. He had never harmed her or made threats against her life like he did with Jaken. He had never had a reason to, since she never made him angry. Now, his blood was boiling with fury at the thought of her foolishly leaving the safe confines of the village and plunging into a world she knew nothing about with no protection. He wasn't completely certain if he _would_ kill her, but there was no doubt in his mind that he would allow no one else to take her life. He had learned once what her dying because of him could do to his heart.

For a long while, there were no words spoken. Rin huddled against herself in a ball a few feet from Sesshomaru, looking visibly shaken by his threat. Sesshomaru could tell by her sad eyes that she was trying to accept his decision, but was finding it hard. She knew better than to continue protesting after his voice got that dark, warning note in it. She knew from watching it being pointed at others. He wondered if she had any idea of how reluctant he was to leave her here.

"Rin." She raised her head, almost warily. "Come." He raised his hand and she crawled over to him. Without much of any effort, he pulled her over his leg and caged her in, draping his arm around her. She pushed her face against his shoulder and wept quietly.

"I don't want to never see you again," she whimpered. He gave no response for that. If he had been another man, a weaker man, he would have told her that he wanted to keep her with him. If he been a weaker man, he would have told her a great many things of what he felt for her, but he was Sesshomaru, a youkai, and the cold son of his father, the Inutaisho. "...What if I never have a mate?"

"You will have one," he stated. She raised her head and turned slightly to look at him.

"You don't have one," Rin accused.

"I am different." She frowned and then reached up and hugged him around the neck, careful not to injure herself on his armor. He didn't move for a moment, a bit stunned, and then slipped his arm around her waist. It was more slender than he remembered from carrying her at times when she was a child. Her grip tightened on his neck as she pressed her cheek against his, hers slightly wet from her tears, and warmer.

"Can't I have you as a mate?" His blood ran cold at this question.

"No."

"Why?"

"You are my ward." She drew back, her arms still resting on his shoulders. She looked confused for some reason. "You are under my protection until when I leave. I cannot have a human as my mate. It would bring unpleasant consequences." Rin drew her gaze down, clearly thinking on what he said. After awhile, she shook her head, making it obvious that she didn't care. And then she did something he hadn't been expecting. Rin was never one for bold moves, but she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his gently. He could have pushed her away, but instead he pulled her a bit closer and showed her what a real kiss was.

When she withdrew, she snuggled up against him again and was silent for the rest of the time he was there. At sunset, when the sun's rays faded from the tops of the trees, she rose to her feet and he followed the movement. Still without any words, she led him away from the river, up the hill, and past the village to the edge of the forest. She stood there, staring into the emerald and chocolate scenery, a longing expression on her face. Rin turned back to him and murmured, "So this is goodbye? Forever?"

"Forever." She bit her lip and there were tears in her eyes again. This time, she brushed at them angrily.

"Goodbye, then, my lord."

"...Goodbye." He turned to leave and was near the forest when she called him back. He stopped and tilted his head slightly to see a queer look on her face.

She hesitated and then said, "I love you, Lord Sesshomaru." He stilled and felt the wrenching tug of his heart threatening to unleash a well of emotions he had stifled during his visit with her. He turned away, breathing shallowly before he was given a chance to pick her up and flee with her.

Instead, he told her, "And I, you, Rin." He could hear her choking on a sob when he walked away, and his heart roared at him with rage and anguish. He didn't look back to see the human that had wedged her way into his life and torn him apart, nor did he allow his mind to think back on the sincere adoration that had been in her voice when she told him her feelings. As he walked away, a single tear dripped down his alabaster cheek, the only time he had ever allowed himself to cry. He wiped it away, frustrated, and continued through the forest to leave his weeping Rin behind him.

_Finis_

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DIS: Hmm, I didn't like how OOC Sesshomaru seemed, but honestly, how else is he supposed to react? In any case, please leave a review telling me how you liked it and whatnot. Ciao!


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